(This year is too bright I can't even open my eyes that wide, Sydney 2019)
Jakarta has her Mr. Blue Sky for the past few days which of course makes my day and help me to ponder more for 2020.
Reflections and commitments for the new year. This time I won't focus too much on career, travel goals or even certain materials/funds I need to acquire. It more towards habits, character, and attitude that I want to focus on growing. Focusing more on the process instead of the destination because it's a long way down the road.
1. Excellence > Perfection
Believe I am not alone on this. I were and am a firm believer of perfections and high standard. In a way, most of my task at work requires me to be as perfect as possible. Questioning all the possible risk and uncertainties. I am glad I have this eagle eyes to spot typos, biased and fluffy wordings, and even inconsistent data in a report. But hey, yes it is a strength but my mentors (Dk and Tg) reminded me that all our strengths need to be used in the right ratio. Not too perfectionist but not too woles woles aja. And I have learnt this the hard way this year, perfection is not the answer to everything. Especially when it comes to life. Not everyone can deal and just accept the perfectionist nature because in my mindset it will be: good is not enough and it has never been a plus but minus. Hence the commitment: value the process and seek excellence result not perfection. At the end nobody is perfect only Jesus (am not kidding :P).
2. "It's okay not to be okay"
This is hard, related to the first point and how I am raised as a first born. Somehow someway I am not tolerated for even a single points of error in life especially when taking care of my siblings back when we were all still at school. Even when my world is falling apart, I should still give that sweet smile and tell the world: I can conquer this. You know it's tiring and sickening inside to act ok when you are not ok. Cherry on top, such a prideful soul. My commitment is to be more vulnerable and honest, first towards myself and the people I treasure. I remember this sentence from Sunday sermon: if you are discouraged, it shows you are prideful because it shows that you trust in your own powers.
3. "Smile even there is no sun shine"
Failures (more to: not there yet), errors, and mistakes? Of course I am doing it every day and the same with people surrounding me. Again, even robots need test and learn phase until they can perform certain functions with low rate of error. Humans are more wonderful than robots obviously, with mistakes and failures we learn, adapt, and overcome. Somehow it's very hard for me to accept mistakes in my life especially for things that are under my control. Sounds cliche, but my commitment is I will laugh and smile at my own silliness. Making mistakes simply show I am just a human duh.
There are many other personal goals and I believe 2020 will be another year where He called me to run in a new different speed, phase, and environment. But, before all the running I just need to make sure I am ready with a more mature character, wiser attitude, and habit. It's a work in progress.
Here's a bit of my Spotify playlist to close 2019 and enter the new adventure in 2020.