Won't Fall on Fall

I think I will pass out anytime soon. I think tomorrow will be the day. Oh no Mich, hold on there.

I just realized as of today, I have been saying that statement since last 2 weeks ago. Well practically right after Autumn Camp, 4th October 2014. Dari yang rasanya mata itu capeknya sampe susah banget untuk dibuka pagi-pagi sampe malem-malem when I enter the lemot zone. Physical wise, these have been the most energy draining weeks of my life this semester. But you know that it is when I am at my weakest point, Jesus strengthen me the most.

From internship, workloads, Chinese class which I nekat to jump to the advanced class so I can force myself to study faster, to my ministry life. I just can’t imagine going through all those weeks without Psalm 23 that soothe my heart so well. How can I actually go through a day filled with 8 hours working and later church meeting yet I can still absorb the scriptures shared? How can I be not zhao ji  a day before my Chinese exemption test yet I have to lead small group the night before! How can I survive a day filled with morning class, written and oral exemption test, class presentation and another group meeting at night? Let me end it with this: ever since Autumn Camp (check more about it here) as much as the devils attack me physically but my souls barely can be touch by them. For those people who are close to me, you guys should know how fragile I am when it comes to my physical health but hey when I have enough vitamin intake for my spiritual life, nah I wont pass out.

True Definition of Rest.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

A week ago I was 4 inch close to the zone called 'tepar', my whole body was shivering, I felt cold and I barely can taste the food I ate. I prayed and asked God, Lord junior year hasn't even start and this is my condition? How can I survive another semester filled with a Guacamole-like schedule? and this verse came up. Often times when I feel terribly sick with my days, I alter my focus to either watching k-dramas or I clean up my room to make me weary enough thus I can doze off directly. But hey! look what the book of Matthew says: come to Jesus all you who are tired because Jesus is the only true source of rest.

I have a packed school schedule this semester. I have a part-time internship. Yet I also have to bind with my commitment in regards with church ministry which means a weekly leaders meeting, small group, and sunday service. Hello, can I have more than 7 days a week? I doodle my schedule once, guess what I say to myself? "So... when will be the time when I can actually exercise or cook my own dinner? Jesus, you are expecting me to be healthy yet this schedule is just ridiculous."Because what, the definition of rest for me is having a me time, having a long sleeping hours during weekend, having a free saturday where I can hop from from one bakery to another bakery trying their best 

Mille Crêpes or green tea ice shaved.


"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Verse 29 continues with an encouragement from Jesus to take His yoke. How I realise that we all don't have any alternative but to take His yoke and that fact is just so heart soothing. When I learn to take His yoke, that Guacamole-like schedule won't terrify me anymore because I know how tiring the day will be, may be even with just few hours of sleep yet my soul will find rest in Him all alone. 

Here we go my third year in Beijing, my junior year. I know it wont be an easy peasy route in front, may be sooner or later I will encounter another 4 inch close to 'tepar' zone but I will always hold on to His yoke.