This shall be my first blog post this year
and oh how I have missed typing a non-work related journal. I think a new
season of life deserves a record here but before all that, let me share a bit
of how He has processed me for the past six and a half months in 2018.
January, after much prayer and long consideration I made my farewell with
Axioo. Having Axioo as my first job in Jakarta was a legit sweet training
ground. I got to sharpen my project management skill and also having the privilege
to work with many brilliant creative minds.
It was a pleasant farewell. But the next three sabbatical months was a
disaster. I have no idea where to go next, or more
to: what do You want me to do next, Lord? This is the beginning of my Letting Go
journey. Letting go of my self-centered dream,
pride, comfort zone and man made walls.
I am forced to pause, ponder and pray more
each day. Quit the busy Monday – Friday routine and actually reflect on His
will. Applying for job from zero again, reconstructing my CV all over again.
Regretting the decision I made to let go of my graduates school offer. It was
not a fun ride at all, indeed it was filled with tears and unspoken fear. What
if this and what if that. Little did I realised I have anchored my
identity not on Christ but rather on my achievement. On this world be it degree,
title, and possessions. And all He asked is: let go, Elle.
And this is where I anchored my days: Psalm 73:25 "Whom Have I in heaven but You? And earth
has nothing I desire besides You." Slowly He leads me to crush those worldly
desires, painful it was. But on the same time, I keep on submitting CVs,
drafting tens of personal statements, attending interviews and tests. I was just afraid of being rejected and those
waiting games from HR were just surreal.
February
- I was on the verge of giving up and just settling
for less. I don't think I can and want to wait any longer. I will just grab any
offer I had in hand. But again, where do
You want me to go next.
Another month unfolded and suddenly it was March already. I keep on counting days – how long have I been income less? Was it a dumb impromptu decision to let go my previous job and few offers I have in hand? I have no idea where I started but there was this one job application that kept on calling me. It was the Graduate Development Program from Commonwealth Bank. I shall keep the detail of the lengthy recruitment process for the next post but little that I know I have submitted my application since February but somehow God just wants me to let go first before entering the new season of life. It took me bucketful of faith, perseverance, and humbleness.
Another month unfolded and suddenly it was March already. I keep on counting days – how long have I been income less? Was it a dumb impromptu decision to let go my previous job and few offers I have in hand? I have no idea where I started but there was this one job application that kept on calling me. It was the Graduate Development Program from Commonwealth Bank. I shall keep the detail of the lengthy recruitment process for the next post but little that I know I have submitted my application since February but somehow God just wants me to let go first before entering the new season of life. It took me bucketful of faith, perseverance, and humbleness.
April - In every single interview, test, group test, and presentation, it
was Psalm 112:7 that strengthens me. “He is not afraid of bad news, his heart
is firm, trusting in the Lord.”
May
- I am now joining Commonwealth Bank as one
of the graduates program this year. In fact, destination is not about where I end up working at but rather the attitude of my heart that at the end of the day I can say with or without this job my identity in Christ stays the same. By His grace all alone I can slowly learn to let go.
For those who are struggling with finding
where to go next – be faithful in your current job, pray for divine direction
and wait. Enjoy the let go process, be faithful and please don't settle for less.