The Beautiful Mess of 2016

It is been some time ever since my last blog post. What happened for these past five months? 
Beyond words, but since 2017 is like few days away I would like to record my bits and pieces of 2016.

1. Landing on DSA Ground

Early this year I landed on my first full time job in Beijing. After applying here and there, few interviews at last I found somehow the job I would love to do. I worked in Dezan Shira & Associates before as business development and marketing assistant. I was trained to work really outside my comfort zone, delivering reports that I have to check gazillion times before I pressed the send button, and working in the environment mixed between locals and expats. Well there were days when I was literally feel suffocated by travelling from Shaoyaoju to Guomao daily but DSA has taught me a lot more than just work work but endurance and stepping outside the comfortable bubble in the professional level. 

2. The Genesis of Fleurdelys

Every time I recall how He put this passion in my heart, I smile. Girls and flowers, oh come on who does not like flowers? It was last year during my 21^st birthday in Beijing that I received a fresh blue hydrangea. How I wish I can get it daily but again I thought it’s impossible to run my own flower studio. But my passion grows every time there were birthday surprise, I have to rely on local florist and the way flowers being arranged is just meh. See how I spot the need; I believe I am not alone. Then it leads to a phone call with Sherly, a Sunday meeting with Jenny and Gaby. Trust me people; it was not an easy peasy thing to run a business from zero level ground but we made it :’) I would like to take this opportunity to thank my parent too who support me simply by saying “Go do it, Elle! We support you” via our weekly wechat call. Check our portfolio on here. 

3. Graduations and The Happiest Place on Earth

A little flashback, Beijing has never been my dreamland for my undergraduate study. It was the least least or let me say I have never put this city in my list but again His way has always been higher than mine and the story continues. For me personally graduation means winning over my comfort zone, I learnt a lot more than the textbook and classroom activities. Graduation means winning over the hustle bustle and tough life in Beijing. I survive four years in this land all by His strength. I would never regret my decision (well my madre’s decision actually) to go to Beijing because there I found my love for Christ. For meeting my small group fambam – that's one of the best thing ever happened in my whole 22 years of living.  To close the Beijing journey, my family visited me and we went to Shanghai Disneyland grand opening. You know the feeling when you visited Disneyland and end the day by watching fire works with beauty and the beast song in the air? That is exactly how He celebrated my Beijing journey; the Disneyland fire works was a celebration from Him especially for me.

4. Leizhou and My 22nd Birthday

My dearly mentor once told me how I am such a little ambassador of Christ. Since then I always hold that statement in my heart. Education has always been part of my heart and He totally knows it. On my last month in China, He gave me the opportunity to serve the under privileged school in Leizhou. I have no idea where in the world is this town, did not dare to tell my madre about this too :P I took 8 hours bullet train to Guangzhou, stayed there for a night before another 8 hours bus trip to this unknown land. It was blazing 35 degree celcius hot, all the volunteers have to walk from our homestay to school. We stay at school from 8am to 5pm everyday from preparing, teaching, and checking student's works. It was the best birthday I have ever had in my entire life! Being able to teach to these kids although they literally look down on my Chinese skill -__-" since I dont look like any Caucasian yet I have broken Chinese. Oh well I was just there for a week, I shed 3 kgs but gained kilos of joy and happiness. You all are truly my bundle of joy who always remind me not to give up on my dream. Prayerfully one day I have the opportunity to serve back again! 

5. For Good, May Be?

I hope one day whatever I type in this paragraph will be a great reminder of His promises. On August 1 2016, I have to leave the city that I proudly called as my second home. Actually my flight supposed to be on July 31 but heaven knows how Sunday service in IC means to me, my flight got cancelled. The past five months of my life back in Jakarta was not a fun end game at all. There are days where I cursed myself for taking such a wrong decision to go home. Days when I question His promise, days when I wish I can just stay in my comfortable bubbles. Going home means starting everything from zero again - finding the right job, home church and community. This is yet to be continued story but even in my brokenness, He deserves my worship.

6. Landing on Axioo Ground

I know it sounds so fafafoom but after months of question mark and constant puzzlement, I have landed on Axioo. This is my first full time job back in my own nation. Well I am trilled yet confused on why am I here again in the land of aesthetic seekers where usually I used to wake up in cash cow kind of land. Grateful that He gave me the key to enter the creative Alice in Wonderland world! Feeding my eyes with daily doze of all the beautiful photos, with a little help of caffeine and cake of course.

As a planner freak as I can be, my 2017 agenda is still empty. I thought I will be flying to Sydney for my master but He has leaded me to a land I have never thought before.  I thought I will be working in consultant industry but He saved me by taking back the steering wheel I have tried to control on my own. It was not easy to surrender and to trust but since the day I received the news that my scholarship application was rejected – I am totally left motionless. This lyric by Laura Story just reminds me of His divine promises. Thank you 2016, its been a beautiful yet messy and chaotic year to cherish.

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

What if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise

17|71

Penyerahan diri Dipo Negoro

enyerahan

Diri Dipo Negoro kepada Letnan

Jenderal H.M. de Kock, 28 Maret 1930,

yang Mengakhiri Perang Jawa.

“Bukan perkara mudah untuk mempertahankan usia 71 tahun bagi sebuah bangsa. Sejarah telah memberi pelajaran pada kita agar tak berlaku naif, bahkan melupakan sejarah…”

Merdeka merdeka merdeka. Sangsaka Merah Putih dapat dikibarkan without any hustle and bustle. Sudah lama since those days aku bisa menyaksikan si Merah Putih berkibar di istana negara although it’s just live from the television. Tidak disangka, sudah 71 tahun umur si negara tercinta. Kalau ditanya, pernah gak memberi hadiah ulang tahun buat Indonesia, what would you answers guys?

It is really is a month of celebration in Indonesia. Mau dari pasar swalayan, restoran, sampai meseum. Dari diskon belanja sampai penampilan hasil karya anak bangsa di pamerkan di pusat pebelanjaan ibu kota.

One of the gifts that mesmerized me personally is the one in Galeri Nasional Indonesia yaitu pameran lukisan koleksi dari Istana Kepresidenan Indonesia dengan tema: 17|71 Goresan Juang Kemerdekaan. Suatu pameran yang melukiskan bahwa kemerdekaan bangsa Indonesia bukanlah sesuatu yang kita dapat nikmati secara cuma-cuma. Lets name it a few of our heroes: Pangeran Diponegoro. Oh no, I no expert in Indonesian (nor world) history but learning from the history of this nation has taught me a lot to appreciate and actually do something. Hence I am challenging myself and of course other Indonesian youths out there to get ourselves ready! Every year, lets do something even if its small, its ok, but lets prepare our gift for our nation especially on her birthday. Mungkin bukan pada ulang tahun ke 71 atau ke 72 ataupun ke 73, but one day I promise myself to present my gift for this nation.

Oh well, happy belated birthday my nation. You are such a kiddo as nation, long journey ahead. Cheers.

Of What Makes Us Sad

Inspired by Ka Afu blog post, I then challenged myself to think it this way:

Sometimes what makes us sad tells us how meaningful that someone/thing for us.

Something(s)

Menghitung bulan dan hari. “No mich, please don’t do this to yourself” that's what I told my brain every single time I stare at my Outlook calendar. Sepertinya hari dimana aku harus meninggalkan kota ini semakin dekat. Setiap pagi ketika aku berlari untuk bus nomor 22 atau 119, ramainya subway pada jam 8 pagi. This is killing me shortly yet I know I shall miss these kinds of days. Hence I keep on telling myself, I am sad to leave this city because Beijing means a lot for me. It matters.

Someone(s)

Kerja delapan jam sehari ditambah dua jam perjalanan pulang pergi. That’s it people, that takes out my battery level from 100% at 8AM to 15% when it comes to 6PM. Alhasil, sudah jarang banget catch up sama keluarga, teman-teman or even adik-adik tersayang di Jakarta. Not until today that I realized sometimes I put too much battery usage in the office that I risk my own family and friends; the people whom I hold dearly to my heart. Long distance sucks, let us just admit it. Mau dari Haidian district ke Chaoyang district, still distance. Apa lagi Jakarta-Beijing. It makes me sad when I realized I have missed so much of their life for the past months. Because at the end of the day, they matter for me.

Of Dreams and Believing It

Dream.

Semua orang pasti punya mimpi. Yes, it includes me. Aku memulai mimpi yang satu ini sejak tahun 2013. Sejenak aku berpikir ini semua tidak mungkin karena jelas-jelas di tahun 2012, my university application on this related major just got rejected. Ok, I shall stop. Mungkin ini memang bukan buat aku. But why not mencoba lagi?

Di tahun 2013, mimpi ini mulai gets another butterfly on my stomach dan berlanjut ke tahun 2014 ketika this particular one city holds part of my heart. I keep on scribbling on my note: I left my heart in this city. Yes, it was all just a dream. Part of me knows this is pretty impossible. Di tahun 2015, purely dengan tekad berani maju basically hanya dengan iman dan His strength, I did apply to for my master degree in one of the universities in this city. Long story short, I got waived for the application fee, submitted all the necessary documents and endless essays. Hati masih berkata, ini gak mungkin.

Only by His grace, aku mencapai mimpi ini pada tahun 2016.

Bermimpi itu gak gampang, percaya bahwa kamu bisa mencapai mimpi itu juga gak gampang. Aku yakin kita semua punya mimpi. Have courage and yes, please don’t give up.

Of the spring thoughts

Been teased whenever I told my dad “dad I wanna be home. Kangen.” Then he will say, begitu pulang pasti kangen Beijing so enjoy your day there lah. Well its spring, this Jing city is getting prettier each day with flower blooming and greens at last instead of brown. Did my wardrobe switch from fall autumn to spring summer already and guess what without I am realizing… It might be my last couple of months breathing in this polluted land.

Honestly speaking it has been months full of adjustments. For the first time I actually lived outside of campus. Living one flat with the locals, yes you hear me right darlings. For the first time *tears* I landed into my first full time job. New routes, new subway lines which also means no more familiar faces of ayi who sell qianping and jiaozhi. But it has been a journey filled with daily surprises for me. I learnt, even when I do scanning job in the office or taking the wrong subway line.

I have learnt to stay faithful even during the time of hardships and puzzlements. To always stay faithful in little things and that’s what spring whispered to me.